The Butterfly Project
by AmaiYuzuki564
Summary: Lovino Vargas has a problem. He cuts. He feels like no one cares. His friends tell him otherwise. To help Lovino feel better,all you need is a Sharpie. Spamano,with hints of other pairings,and a minor self insert.


**Me: Really,bro? Really? *sigh* Fine... I don't freaking own Hetalia...=_=  
**

**and yea...I kinda inserted myself into this cuz I've been reading too many countryxReader fanfics, I'll try to make me sound like me and not mary sue. Keyword: TRY.**

**Who's who:  
****Lovino-Romano  
Antonio- Spain  
Feliciano-Italy  
Ludwig-Germany  
Gilbert-Prussia  
Matthew-Canada (who?)  
Alfred-America  
Arthur-England  
Yao-China  
Ivan-Russia  
Bella-Belgium  
Herecles-Greece  
Kiku-Japan  
Marcello-Seborga  
Yuzuki-Me (the author)**

* * *

**The Butterfly Project**

**Lovino's POV  
**"Ve, Fratello, the pasta's almost ready!" I heard Feliciano scream from the kitchen.

"I can hear you. You don't have to yell." I grumbled.

"Since I made a lot,I should invite some friends. You don't mind,do you?"

I sighed."Whatever. Invite the Potato Bastard if you want to. I don't give a shit."

"Ve,Grazie fratello!" Feliciano said cheerfully.

*le timeskip*

There was a knock on the door. Feliciano opened it to, yep,you guessed it. His Potato Bastard of a boyfriend.

"Ve! Hi, Ludwig!" Feliciano exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the Potato Bastard's neck.

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"Awww, you guys look so cute together!" a voice said.

Damn, fratello invited Yuzuki too,huh?

Yuzuki had short black hair with a hair curl sticking out on the top of her head and brown eyes. She's really weird not to mention not the smartest person around. I would understand why Feli would want to be friends with her. They're both idiots.

Then came in the Potato Bastard's brother,Kiku,Alfred,Matthew,Heracles,Bella,Ivan,Yao,and Arthur. Damn, did Feli make that much pasta? Well, the bastard really loves pasta ,so it's not much of a surprise.

"Hola,everyone!"

Shit,Antonio's here too? I felt my face heat up. It's not like I like him or anything,so don't get any ideas! I suddenly felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I looked up to see a certain Spaniard smiling like the idiot he is.

"Oi,Get off me,Tomato Bastard!" I shouted.

"I don't wanna,you're just so cute,Lovi!" Antonio teased.

"Shut up,bastardo! I'm not cute and don't fucking call me that!"

Antonio giggled."Aww,Lovi your face looks like a-"

I glared at him."Don't fucking say it,bastardo."

"You guys having a lover's quarrel?" Yuzuki teased.

I shot her a death glare."Do you want to die?"

Yuzuki flinched then cowered under the table.

"Wahhh,Lovino's scary!" She cried.

I heard the door shut. "I'm home!"

"Ve, welcome back,Marcello!" Feliciano said.

Marcello,my other idiot brother,walked into the room. "Whoa,are we having a party?"

Gilbert shrugged."I guess you could say that."

"Oh, I totally forgot about the pasta!" Feliciano panicked,running into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help?" Yuzuki asked,crawling from under the table, hitting her head in the proccess. See what I mean by not the smartest person around?

Then I remembered the Antonio is still clinging to me.

"Didn't I tell you to get off of me?" I asked,wriggling out of Antonio's grip.

"Aww Lovi,can I just hug you for a bit longer?"

I sighed."Fine..."

*le timeskip*

"Ahh,that was good!" Marcello exclaimed.

"Feli makes the best pasta,don't you think?" Gilbert asked.

Feliciano giggled."Thanks,everybody!"

"Hey Feli,you're working on another painting right? Can I see it when you're done?" Yuzuki asked.

Feliciano nodded."Yeah,sure. Can you show me your new drawing when you're done?"

"Ehhh? But I'm not as good as you. I don't think it's even worth showing you."

"It's not that bad, you just need to practice more to get better!" Feliciano said.

"Feli,are you free on Saturday?" Alfred asked.

"Yes,why?"

"Soccer match between me and Artie. You in?"

"You mean football? Sounds like fun!"

Ugh, I hate moments like this. Everybody's fawning over Feliciano and I'm like a second Matthew (no offence,Matthew). God, why,just why,does it have to be Feliciano? I mean sure, I'm not the nicest guy to be around and I may not be as good at many things like Feliciano. Nobody cares about me.

I got up from my seat and headed towards the bathroom.I feel like doing _that _again. No one would give a shit anyway.

**Antonio's POV  
**Everybody was talking to Feliciano. He's cute and he's quite talented,so it's not much of a surprise that he's popular, but there's something about Lovino I liked. He doesn't know it but he's really cute when he's angry and I love it when he acts like he doesn't care when he actually does. I also kinda feel bad for him. It must be hard to be compared to your brother all the time.

Speaking of Lovino,where is he?

"Hey,does anyone know where Lovino went?" I asked.

"I saw him get up earlier. He probably went to the bathroom." Bella said.

"Then it shouldn't take him this long. If he doesn't come out in five minutes, I'm going to go check on him"

**Normal POV**

"A-ah!" Lovino gasped softly as he dug the sharp blade of his pocket knife deep into his skin and dragged it across his arm. He watched as the thin line of blood grow thicker. He felt the pain in his heart ease a bit. Lovino repeated the proccess until he started to feel dizzy. He dropped the knife and passed out on the floor.

*outside*

"Lovino!" Antonio called,banging on the door. He twisted the doorknob back and forth,but the door was locked.

"Damn it!" Antonio cursed.

"Is it locked?" Kiku asked.

"If it wasn't, I would in there by now."

"I can pick locks, I just need a bobby pin or a hair clip." Marcello said.

He turned to Yuzuki and yanked out one of the clips that was holding her hair back.

"Oww...Bro,that hurt!" Yuzuki complained.

Marcello payed no attention to her and focused on lock picking. After a few minutes,he finally unlocked the door. Antonio pushed Marcello out of the way and yanked the door open to find Lovino passed out on the floor with multiple cuts on both of his arms. Blood was splattered all over floor and there was a small blood stained pocket knife lying next to Lovino.

"Lovino!" Antonio cried,cradling Lovino in his arms.

"What happened?" Feliciano asked.

"Mein Gott,there's so much blood." Gilbert said.

"Should we call an ambulance?" Arthur asked.

Antonio wasn't even paying attention to all the commotion. Lovino was important to him right now.

"Lovino, why would you do this?" Antonio whispered, letting a single tear roll down his cheek.

*le timeskip, again...(= 3 =)*

**Lovino's POV**

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Antonio sleeping with his head resting on the edge of the bed. Second thing I noticed, I wasn't in my own room. I could hear the irritating beeping noise of the heart monitor. Damn hospitals...

Third thing I noticed...

Antonio was holding my hand.

My face suddenly turned light pink. I unconsiously tightened my grip on his hand.

"You idiota." I said softly.

Antonio started to stir and slowly opened his bright green eyes. He grinned at me."Hola,Lovi!"

"Hi." I replied,looking away.

"How do you feel?"

"Fuckng perfect,why you ask?" I said sarcastically.

His facial expression quickly changed into a look of sadness and pain."Why would you do that,Lovi?"

"Do what?"I asked,even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Don't play dumb with me,Lovino;You know exactly what I'm talking about."

I sighed."It's complicated."

"It's okay,just tell me,I'll try to keep up." Antonio said, smiling a bit.

"Not now,I'm tired and I'm pretty sure everybody wants to know and I don't want to tell the same story more than once."

"Okay, you can tell us when you're ready, and promise me you won't hurt yourself like that again,okay?" Antonio said.

I didn't say anything. I cut myself almost daily and it became a habit.I don't think I can keep that promise...

*Few days later...*

The bell rang, meaning lunch period. I went to go put my things in my locker,only to find tons a hateful messages scribbled all over it. My eyes focused on the one written in big letters.

_Nobody loves you. Just go die already._

What...the...fuck? I'm pretty much the school punching bag, so I'm used to coming home with a black eye and a split lip. Usually insults don't faze me at all, but this is too much.

Why?  
What did I do to make people hate me that much?

I let my forehead touch the cold metal locker and started sobbing silently.

"Lovino-kun?"

I turned around to see Kiku and Heracles, both of them giving me worried looks. Their eyes widened when they saw what was written on my locker.

"Heracles-san, go to the office and tell them what happened.I'll take care of Lovino-kun."

Heracles nodded and ran off. My eyes kept staring at the floor as Kiku led me to the art room. (Don't ask. I don't know why we eat lunch there.)

"Oh my god,Lovi, what happened?" Antonio asked, pulling me into a tight hug as soon as I walked in.

"What are you talking about? I'm alright." I said softly.

"Stop lying to me; you look like you're about to cry."

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and started crying. Loudy. In front of everybody. Antonio rocked me back and forth like a baby, saying 'fusosososo' repeatedly. (like that's gonna help. Cheer up charm,my ass)

Took me about ten minutes to finally calm down. When I turned around,everybody was giving me a worried look.

"So, will you explain the reason why we found you passed out in the bathroom with a bloody knife,fratello?" Marcello asked.

Crap, the topic I want to avoid. I tried to turn around and run for the door, but Ivan caught me before I could. Damn Vodka Bastard. He just has to make things more uncomfortable with his presence.

"Come on,tell us,Lovino. I'm sure we all want to know." Ivan said, in a really creepy voice.

"Yeah,Lovino, We're really worried about you-aru." Yao agreed.

"Alright,everybody just shut the fuck up!" I yelled.

"Whoa, he snapped." Yuzuki said quietly to Bella.

"You guys wanna fucking know? I get beat up almost every fucking day and no one gives a shit about me! Feliciano gets all the attention and you know what? I don't give a fucking shit anymore,so just leave me alone!" I said angrily, tears threatening to fall again.

"Was that how you felt all this time? And we never noticed. I'm sorry, we're horrible friends." Antonio said,wrapping his arms around me for the second time.

"Sorry for not paying attention to you more. It may not look like it but we do care about you,right, eh?" Matthew said.

"He's my fratello,of course I care!" Marcello agreed.

Feliciano nodded."What kind of brother would I be if I didn't care about my big brother?"

"He may be an ass,but he's a great friend! I care!" Yuzuki said cheerfully.

"I agree." Bella chimed in.

"It would be so unawesome if I didn't care." Gilbert declared.

Ludwig just nodded.

"Dude, I'm the hero and heroes are supposed to care about everybody!"

"You're going too far with the hero complex,Alfred." Arthur said,rolling his eyes.

"Aww Artie,don't be like that.I know you love me." Alfred teased, giving Arthur a peck on the cheek.

Arthur blushed."Don't do that,you bloody wanker! Anyway,since Alfred cares,I care too."

"Me too. It's not the same without you, Lovino." Kiku said."And Heracles would say the same thing if he were here."

"I care about you too. I can't imagine living in a world without you." Antonio said.

I blushed a bit."Thanks guys."

Yao smiled."Now, don't scare us like that again,okay-aru?"

"But I've cutting for a long time now and it kinda became a habit,so I don't think I can stop." I explained.

"Then we'll help you,da!" Ivan replied.

"But how-aru?" Yao asked.

"Ah! I've got it! I just need a few sharpies." Bella said.

"Oh,here!" Feliciano said as he gave Bella a pack of markers.

"Thanks,Feli!"

Yuzuki smirked."Ahhh I see what your getting at,Bella."

"Yuzuki's already catching on. Now Lovino, give me your arm." Bella ordered.

I held my arm out to her and she rolled up the sleeve up to my elbow. I watched as Bella drew on my arm with a metallic silver sharpie. When she was done, I examined the little doodle she did. It was a drawing of a butterfly with her name written under it.

"What's this?"

"It's a butterfly,what else?" Bella replied.

"It's called the Butterfly Project. The rules are pretty simple. Rule number one: When you feel like you wanna cut,take a marker or a pen and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand. Rule number two: Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better. Rule number three: You must let the butterfly fade on it's own. No scrubbing it off" Yuzuki explained.

"Rule number four: If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you've killed it. If you dont cut, it lives. Rule number five: If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them, and rule number six: Another person can draw the butterflies on you. Those butterflies are extra special, so take good care of them." Bella continued.

"Ve~ That sounds like a lot of fun!" Feliciano grabbed another sharpie and drew a butterfly next to Bella's, while Marcello did the same thing on my other arm.

"This is a bit girly,but anything to help you get better." Marcello commented.

Soon after,everybody crowded around me with sharpies in their hands. They spent the next 10 minutes drawing butterflies on my arms. The smell of the markers started to make me feel dizzy,but I didn't care. The only thing that was on my mind were my friends who were willing to support me. I felt my lips curl into a small smile,but I don't think anyone noticed. Antonio seemed to notice it and grinned at me. I felt my face heat up again.

"So,what so you think?" Yuzuki asked,twirling a red sharpie in between her fingers.

"That's a lot of butterflies. It looks like a rainbow puked on my arms."

"Fratello,that's mean. We're just trying to help you."Feliciano whined.

"I mean it in a good way,idiota." I said.

All of a sudden,the bell rang again.

"Oh no,we're gonna be late!" Feliciano cried.

"See you later,Lovi!" Antonio said, giving me a big smile.

Jeez,why do I blush everytime he does that?

I shrugged and headed towards my next class.

*time skip*

Feliciano went somewhere with the Potato Bastard,so I'm walking home alone.

"Lovi!" Antonio called out.

Crap.

I felt Antonio's arms pull me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Damn it, Antonio,next time you do that, I'll rip you arms off, so you can't hug me!"

Antonio frowned."Aww,Lovi, don't be like that; I'm just showing you how much I care about you."

"Well, you're showing it a bit too much." I grumbled. "Now, can you let me go?"

"No, I have to tell you something."

"Then spit it out,already!"

"Give me your arm."

"What? Come on, I don't think I have room for another butterfly." I complained.

Antonio ignored me and grabbed my arm. He took out a green sharpie and drew a butterfly then wrote something under it. My face turned red when I saw what he wrote under the butterfly.

_'Te amo'_

I love you...

I snatched the marker from Antonio's hand and drew a butterfly on his wrist along with the words '_Ti amo' _

_"_Te amo,Lovino." Antonio said before leaning in to kiss me.

I wrapped my arms around Antonio's neck and kissed him back.

"Ti amo,Antonio." I whispered as soon as we pulled apart.

"Just promise me you won't hurt yourself again. You are beautiful, like a butterfly."

* * *

**Me: Alright,done! And if you're wondering,no, I did not make up the Butterfly Project. It's a real thing that gives people who self-injure motivation to stop cutting. I've read a PrussiaxReader fanfic on the Butterfly Project on DeviantArt,and it got my brain ticking and I wrote this. I swear this needs more Spamano moments... =3= and i don't know if this happens to just me, but I hate when I save things to the document manager and some of the words go MIA afterwards...l.**

**Review plz. And plz don't flame cuz I will use them to roast marshmallows while singing England's Demon Summoning song.**


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